My Oasis

its my room, but it is being transformed into a spiritual oasis. I have a 7 tier she,f that I’m painting and adorning with trinkets, candles and crystals and I’m working on chakra balancing and healing.  I hope to be finished painting today.

Then the last few boxes need to be put up so that I can focus all my energy on healing.

My body is tired and sore, my neck stiff.  My appetite is down and I continue to battle chapped lips, pimples around my mouth and nostrils.

I am never bored despite never leaving the house.  I have purchased some paints and finally going to work on some of the things I’ve wanted to do for years.  One being resentment rocks and honing my painting abilities…..paint by numbers haha! But I still have resentments and I want to work out as many of those as I can and as quickly as possible.

I don’t feel like I’m dying.  I don’t feel well, but I feel better than January. There is something to be said about preparing things in the event I am called home.   It’s ensuring my “last dying wishes” are fulfilled. And if the cancer vacates my body, then I will justensure that I am always ready to walk onward when I’m called to do so.

There are times I get angry, especially at politicians and corporations. Ye who made this a great nation allowed greed to be what was fed, not the upliftment of ALL of humanity. And learning that everything that I thought was real is a lie and how some feel others aren’t worthy – as if they are God.

blessed beyond measure, I carry in me the love and light that is dying to fully express itself. And now I finally have a space where I can nurture that.

godspeed on being renewed.

My Most Recent Update (MRI)

Hello Everyone!

I have an update that I’d like to post today. Before I get into my MRI Results, I would like to thank everyone for the kind words, the well-wishes, the prayers and the financial support. The money that was provided via this campaign allowed me to live the last five months without much worry about things like power, food, transportation, things I (we) needed as I bore down to kick these cells out of my body.

My disability check came in. Dealing with EDD/SDI is a NIGHTMARE but I got a nice gentleman on the phone, and he spent an HOUR getting everything he needed to pay the claim.. Then it took 12 days from when it paid for me to receive the Debit Card. Just totally unacceptable but I’ve been able to pay on and ahead on some bills, order in somethings we need and toss my son a couple bucks so he can get a newer phone (his is just way too slow and the cracked screen doesn’t help either!)

I just want to say THANK YOU because of the people that came out, showed their support and expressed concern, its because of all ya all that I’m even standing here today.

===And Now The Update===

On Monday, I woke up, showered and got ready then I realized it wasn’t Tuesday LOL So on Tuesday I had an MRI Appointment at VMC. I went in and slept thru the MRI now that I’m an old pro.

When I was first diagnosed with Cancer, I was a WRECK while in that machine because I knew that something wasn’t right and that they were getting clearer images of what they had already seen. I remember just sobbing and screaming silently through the tears.

Twice they had to stop the MRI early, but were able to see the tumor in my brain and nothing is more scary than hearing cancer is in the brain. After I was diagnosed, they gave me something to calm me down and I went into the MRI machine again for a short 15 minute scan.

So I went to the appointment on Tuesday and yesterday (Wednesday May 30th) the doctors office called and said that everything was stable and the Radiation Oncologist would see me on the 22nd.

Well, my appt isn’t on the 22nd. Its the 11th, but if I’m stable, delaying the appointment works for me!

At the end of June, I will have a PET Scan and there I will get a feel for what the tumor in my lung and right adrenal gland is up to. So my post after early/mid July will have more information as to what my lungs are doing.

I have not had any coughing episodes. I do get winded (tired) when I’m out and about. I feel a general dizzy feeling when I first get up, sometimes so bad I have to put a hand on the wall so that I don’t faint. My neck hurts, but its always hurt and I’m sure that has to do with my car accident and broken clavical that I’ve endured since I was 19. My god, that was 30 years ago (gulp!)!

I just read the MRI report and it says:
1. Multiple stable hemorrhagic enhancing lesions as described, consistent with known metastatic disease. Mild decrease in size of the left parietal cortical lesion.

2. No new lesions are seen.”

What is missing, that I still don’t know is the number of tumors.

Can I get a “HELL YESSSSSSS” From all you all please!!!!!! I am over the moon! YAY

This really is a peculiar thing as I have Stage 4 Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer. I have a 2.5cm (Jan 2018) tumor in my upper left lung. It is my belief and feeling that the Fires in Santa Rosa (if not the cause) complicated and brought my onset symptoms to the forefront. But they have done more tests on my brain than my lung and I have more tumors in my brain than my lung. But I don’t have Brain Cancer. Go figure!

Now, I have no idea of the tumor size on the right adrenal gland. On 1/29/18 I underwent a surgical procedure to remove a 4.5cm (golf ball sized) tumor from my right frontal/parietal lobe. The overall affected side was 10-12cm in length and this includes all of the swollen and areas of edema but now what remains is typical of “post op”. YAY

All of my labs are PERFECT but they do show elevated White Blood Cells when I went into the doctor and again when I went to the hospital for that face infection I had in April. My Red Blood Cells are typically low, as they have been that way my whole life and that indicates anemia, but low RBC’s is “normal” for me. I am considered “text book” otherwise surrounding my labs and I’m very proud of that, being I’m overweight, have poor health habits (smoker/history with drugs/alcohol and overweight!)

I have been taking CBD Oil from the Shelter Project and Jetty Extracts. They provided me three months this last shipment and I take about a gram of CBD oil a week.

I also have been taking supplements, however I cut back on those for two reasons – first was when I was in the hospital, I didn’t take them with me and I was on morphine for pain and nauseated. The supplements along with Tagrisso (my “chemo in a pill” treatment) and an empty stomach bring on nausea. I do not do nausea well at all.

Thanks to Kelly Land, I have been juicing and making smoothies, not every single day, but more often than not. I just had groceries delivered so I got a full stock on everything to continue juicing.

When the nurse called to say I was stable, my son was in the room and I just cried.

The other symptoms I have is related to Tagrisso and its chapped lips and my nose is affected and at times, hurts and swells. Its been pretty constant since my April hospital stay. I just need to drink more water, keep doing what I’ve done, step up the CBD oil and supplements, stay away from all the GMO, non-organic foods, sugar and dead animal flesh.

I’ve lost all my Jan 2018 hospital weight and overall, I’m down at least 10 pounds from where I was prior to diagnosis – a weight that I have held steady for the last few years (give or take). Thats all fine and dandy but I’m still at least 50 pounds above my ideal weight and so long as I’m not wasting away and losing slowly, then I’ll take it.

Now, back to my head, the other “numerous tumors” measure around 7mm so they are small, like pencil erasers i’ve been told. The fact they are not growing and have began to shrink leaves me with a FUCK YA!!! feeling. I’m skipping and I think I hurt my back when I did that flip!

I have found The Truth About Cancer to be a wealth of information. I also have found Dr. Axe to be very helpful with nutritional information. And Patients Like Me is a great site to connect to others with similar symptoms/conditions. There’s other websites that are great with alternative cancer treatments and I cannot emphasize enough that importance of knowing what you’re putting in your body (even that which comes from the doctor as much of it is poison!)

I remain hopeful but I do have days where I just want to cry. I don’t want to see evil win and this cancer, is EVIL. The Truth will set me free! I

To my friends near and far, my parents, children, and anyone else reading this – thank you for being a star in my sky.

What I Do To Help My Body Fight Cancer

This is a compilation of the things I do, or don’t do, that are considered natural treatments for this dreaded disease called Cancer.

First, as I’ve stated, I got sick the night the Santa Rosa firestorm literally blew up.  That was Oct 9 2017 in the early morning hours.  It was that day I developed a cough and my health was in decline until my diagnosis date of Jan 22, 2018.  I do get dizzy and winded when I’m up and about, and I feel primarily the same .  In February I felt better than I did the time around  my diagnosis.

Last doctors appointment, I was told I have “textbook” labs, everything is in normal ranges.  I do have anemia but iron levels are fine, as is temp, blood pressure, and oxygen sats.

The first thing I would tell someone walking this path is to do your research on cancer and why you cannot trust the medical establishment or the FDA.  Sad,but it’s true.  I highly recommend watching the Bruzynski movie on Netflix or you can find it on YouTube.  Dr. Bruzynski had a cure for cancer but the FDA and Big Pharma stood to loose a lot of Money.

Other cancer cures the FDA has “outlawed” include, but are not limited to Laetrile, or Vitamin B17.  You cannot buy B17 off the shelf, but it is the seed of an apricot.  There are traces of a chemical very similar to cyanide, however you have to eat a gaggle of seeds for it to be truly harmful.  The cyanide in the seed is delivered to the cancer cell and the cell dies.

i have not yet tried the Laetrile, or apricot seed oil but I will be looking into that soon.

now, I have brain metastases, and chemotherapy does not pass the blood brain barrier, so radiation would be treatment for brain tumors.  At last MRI in March, my tumors were same size and no new ones were present.  Not bad 8 weeks post-op and only 3 weeks on Tagrisso.

What I do to help this “chemo pill,” the Tagrisso,  do what it does is that I ensure an alkaline system.  I avoid sugar except when I have coconut popsicles.  I rarely eat meat, if I do I lean to fish or chicken.  I have meat hardly ever and no pork.

I eat mostly veggies, I drink a smoothie most mornings, I may have bread and butter, I rarely drink milk (only with grape nut cereal), cheese has been cut way back and I have maybe 4 yogurts and 6 eggs a week.  I drink green tea and aloe Vera drinks, coconut wherever possible.

i use coconut oil when I need to use oil.  I also add frankensense essential oil to coconut oil and rub that on my neck so that the frankensense is absorbed into the skin.  I run 2 Air diffusers filled with eucalyptus oil, lemon oil and others known to help with cancers.

Jetty Extracts has a program called The Shelter Project where they may give cancer pTients free CBD oils.  You want a 3:1 ratio with helps with pain, nausea and insomnia.  That’s 3 parts CBD and 1 part THC.  You can read about Rick Simpson Oil or RSO all over the internet.  I put this on the roof of my mouth 3x a day.  It’s said that after I ingest 60 grams in about 90 days, my cancer should be shrinking if not cured.  I also vape the CBD Oil but mostly, take it orally.

cancer thrives in a dark, oxygen deprived and acidic environment.  Sunshine is good for you, eat FRESH greens, kale, spinache, brocolli, zucchini, etc.  these turn into oxygen as the food is digested.  I also purchased from amazon FOOD GRADE Hydrogen Peroxide that I add to water 3x a day.  This gives a boost of oxygen right into my system.

I also put a little baking soda and lemon in water and drink. You can freeze and shred a lemon to put on fish, or even in yogurt.  I try to eat 1-2 lemons a day.  The lemon and soda alkaline the body.  You don’t want to be too alkaline ine, just in normal range of a pH level 5-7.

i went to CVS and stocked up on supplements.  I take i cant talk right now – ill holla back when i finish what im doing Black Seed Oil (look at Dr. Sebi) and anything for Immune System and Heart Health, Garlic Zinc, D3, Echinacea, a Daily Vitamin, Vitamin C, and a probiotic.

Aside from Burzynski and Sebi, watch, more than anything, no smoking, buy natural products, go organic where possible, NO GMO foods, and watch mental health.  Take only what you must and drink lots of carrot juice, beat juice, and green leafy juice and smoothies.

look into a green superfood protein powder to add to smoothies.  Nuts are good for you, ok to add, just avoid the salt.  I run a Himalayan Salt Lamp that clears the air and I ensure my room stays dusted when possible.  I have other people clean if it’s really dusty.  I keep coughing to minimum. If I cough it up, it comes out as it could be cancer your swollowing. I stocked up on Tylenol, Benadryl and Mucinex.

I also have help through social services and IHSS.  If I can help you, if you are suffering from cancer, please get at me.  My email and my phone number is (408) 454-8769.

I use Medisafe to remind me to take meds and the  Patients Like Me website for support, updates (infrequent but try to update once a week and after appts.)  I also use a medicine checker, inputting even thesuppliments, to ensure no adverse reactions.

If cooking is difficult, look into meal delivery services, green blender will deliver ingredients for 5 smoothies a week for $50.  Don’t drink alcohol and keep the mind positive.  Learn to meditate, even yoga.  I listen to Chuck Wild aka Liquid Mind which relaxes me and help me stay grounded.

Know cancer comes from what we eat and breathe or are exposed to, many things, of which, the government does deliberately to experiment on us, even without consent.

Much Love,



Postponing Mammogram – Sore Throat

I was scheduled for a mammogram today. When I met ,y new PCP we decided to, in addition to cancer treatment, do a full physical. I’ll get the pap, get the blood panel for STD’s, HIV and HepC.

I’m confident those scans will come back clear but I had to postpone cuz I got a sore throat. I also got a rash from the Fitbit and a burn I got on. My arm touching a hot pan is red. Basically, I can tell my immune system is changing.

I’m feeling relatively good otherwise. I do get sad when I read about cancer but I keep reminding myself that I’m 48 and much younger than the average age for lung cancer.

I continue to be appreciative for all the visits, the phone calls, the text messages and the help with the amazon wish list and my GoFundMe.

Please continue to share this campaign to your networks. It’s been three months living on Child Support and your generous contributions. I’ve filed for SSDI but I need Doc to certify. Next week om Wednesday I will meet with the medical social worker!!

And hopefully disabilitykicks in soon. I also am looking for financial assistance through cancer organizations while I’m right-minded and able to do that kind of fundraising.

I really am humbled and I feel like I got this. I’m researching all the alternative treatments and I take my meds every day. There’s no other option other than to be here in this form, another 20 years at least.

I love all of you.


Attitude Is Everything

As I have shared in my GoFundMe story, and as I tell others, getting this diagnosis, I had to “find the light!”

The light is the goodness that has come from this diagnosis.  I can’t sit and look at what I may miss out on.  What my children may miss out on.  I have graduations, engagements, weddings, pregnancy’s and grandchildren ahead of me.

There was a time, when I wasn’t a healed or “well” person emotionally and I had this prayer and it went “God, please do for me what I cannot do for myself!”

The intention behind that prayer was death.  He answered it in different and very profound ways.  But now I sit here with a diagnosis for a terminal illness.

Well, in the light, I see that we are all born terminal.  “Terminal” simply means “(of a disease) predicted to lead to death, especially slowly; incurable.

With that in mind, coupled with the notion that cancer may not be what kills me, it could be something else that gets me before these tumors, I have vowed to remain positive.

Attitude Is Everything

Now, to be real, that’s not to say that I’m in grand spirit all the time because I’m not.  In fact, my sadness comes when I allow myself to “go there” and when I turn off the lights at night and lay my head on my pillow.  I feel it when I read about the prognosis and the treatments available.  I am ANGERED that there are cures for cancer but the almighty dollar is more important to some politicians, bankers, governments and corporations than the lives of human beings.

I have much to learn and study so that I can  be on whatever alternative therapies, remedies and foods that will take this cancer and get it the fuck out of my body.

I have acknowledged the Cancer.  I have not insulted it, called it names, or hated on it.  I have, however, evicted it and I continually tell the cancer that it is no longer allowed to live inside of me.  It must pack up and move out.

Visualization and meditation is going to be key.  That is something I need to proactively spend more time doing.  I’ve been home from the hospital for about six weeks (45-ish days) and I’ve spent a lot of time gathering things I need and watching TV, sleeping (thanks to edibles) and thinking.

The days go by fast.  I’m still fat, I’m happy, and I get to be grateful that this disease has rekindled relationships that are primary and that were suffering, and its brought friends back that I haven’t seen in some 30 years.